ok-I think that we have hit the terrible two's!!!! Here are a few examples of my rebellious child. Whenever we try and say a prayer- we tell her to fold her arms- she absolutely REFUSES!!!! It does not matter if you take her food away, tell her she will go to time out, have multiple family home evenings on it, or tell her that Jesus likes us to pray- NOTHING will work!
She will say NO to almost everything you ask her to do. Whether it is take a bath, do your hair, get dressed, eat dinner, or give you a hug- she will say NO!!!! And then when she has said no enough and you have tried to be patient and nice about things and there is no other option besides making her do what you have asked, she will kick and scream on the floor, in your arms, or in time out- it doesn't really matter where she is, she will be kicking and screaming.
One last example comes from today in the car. We were leaving somewhere and she was screaming because she didn't want to leave, this is our conversation:
me: "Macie, you don't really need to scream like that"
her: "I'm crying because I'm sad!!!!"
me: "Your sad. why are you sad?"
her: "Don't talk to me!!!!" (in a really mad, screaming voice)
her: "Don't talk to me!!!!" (in a really mad, screaming voice)
Then a few minutes later I hear this: "Go Away!!! I don't like you sun, go away!!!" (again- in a really mad, screaming voice) I don't know where she is getting these phrases, but I really need to find out!!
What is a parent to do?!!!! Well- that is what I am asking all of you wise mothers and fathers out there for....advice! PLEASE tell me how to deal with this child, PLEASE. I am completely lost and don't know what to do for her- is this normal?!!!! or am I doomed?!!
8 comments:
I think normal. And I think 3 is worse! Good luck! A book that has helped me is: How to Raise an Emotionally Intelligent Child. (I have it, but it's being passed around the ward... if you want to be next...) It sounds like you are already doing some emotional coaching--which is great!
First of all, I love that picture, because whether we show it to anyone or not we all have a picture like that - or maybe 100 of them. Alayna definitely went through that and Jacob is there now. What worked best for Alayna and seems to be working for Jacob is to ignore bad behavior (unless it's dangerous/violent/etc) and really praise good behavior. And I mean REALLY praise it. Like clapping hands, high fives, cheers, stickers, etc. It takes a while but I promise you it's normal and she'll get past it. It hurts when they tell you to go away but just know it's not personal, it's just her realizing that she has power. She just doesn't know what to do with it yet. Keep the faith and say a prayer when you feel your temper rising!
Your doomed. Just kidding. Sounds like my Brock in a nutshell. I've learned to pick my battles.
Oh it is totally normal!! Baden is starting to do some of the same things, which makes me so sad because he is the sweetest little boy. Anyway one thing that I do is to be consistant and always follow through with what ever the punishment may be for talking back saying no or throwing a fit. One thing that I had to start doing with Kenason, she was the worst smart mouth and NOTHING I MEAN NOTHING would work she didn't care if you put her in her room or took toys away she would sass me so bad, so I would put soap in her mouth(I know I know a little crazy and I always felt so bad!) but it worked and if she starts sasing me I ask hwer if she wants soap and she stops(I only had to do soap twice.)Another thing that I did with my kids that helped..they never want to help clean up their toys, so I started taking them away.It totally worked!! Anyway I hope that you find what works for you, it is totally the age! Good luck.
p.s. Thanks for your sis's # we are getting together tomorrow!
oh my goodness...i remember the terrible two's with gavin. It was so hard. Always make sure she knows who is boss. She is definitely testing you right now. And be consistent! There will be a lot time-outs. It will get emotionally exhausting for you. :) That is my only advice. As far as praying, if she won't do it then you guys do it in front of her and eventually she will decide to join in. It might take awhile though. It takes soooooo much patience. I hated going out in public with Gavin b/c whenever we left the place we were at he would scream so loud! I hated it. Anyway, that is all i can give. I am sure there are others with better ideas. :)
I'm going to go with doomed!
Seriously though there's a book called "The happiest Toddler on the Block" that we really liked. Its a pediatrician that focuses on how to communicate with a toddler. You basically acknowledge what your child is saying by repeating it back to them. He explains it in the book much better since well he obviously wrote a book and I wrote a sentence. Good luck!
Hi Becky! I haven't seen you in 2 years. It's easy and fun to catch up with old friends especially now since everyone seems to be blogging. I even started one of my own but don't have much to talk about since I don't have kids. Jev and I have been married for more than 5 years and we are definitely working on the kid thing. We'll keep you posted! Oh and sorry I can't offer much advise about the terrible two's thing since I don't have kids yet, but I have read some books. I've found that Gary Ezzo writes some good books. I just ordered his Eight Book OnBecoming Series since it is 50% off right now. I've been meaning to buy them for a while. You should check it out. http://www.gfi.org/java/jsp/cust_store.jsp. I'm getting mine via UPS today! On Becoming Toddlerwise is probably the one that you would want to read. You might even be able to check it out at the library. Aren't you in Ohio? They probably have better libraries than Pocatello.
Oh your just starting, believe me it gets even better from here. I really think that there isnt a magic answer. Every child is different and you just have to find what works for them. I am still trying to figure out what works for Jocey because she is just as dramatic, stubborn, and difficult as myself. We bash heads alot! Really good luck, parenting is definitely the most rewarding yet difficult thing you will ever do in life.
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